“Why didn’t you just say all that in the first place?”

My girlfriends and I were having a kitchen table talk about people who are in love with their friends and are not saying anything about it when this episode of The Penguins of Madagascar: “Monkey Love” started showing on tv.

*Kitchen table talk is casual conversations between friends or family around a table with food or drinks, normally in the kitchen.*

In this episode, Phil a deaf chimpanzee falls in love with a visiting female chimpanzee named Lulu but did not have the courage to approach her and asked his friends to help express his love to her. After they failed to help him with several disastrous antics, Phil finally went to Lulu and expressed his love for her in sign language. Lulu said, “Well, Phil why didn’t you just say all that in the first place?” They walked away hand in hand.

We all just looked at each other and laughed because that was exactly how we felt at that moment. Why can’t you just tell the person you have feelings for how you feel?

Sometimes they might be in love, dating or married to another person so you cannot do that but when they are single just like you, you have to say something.

It is very frustrating when your close friend tells you or you find out from another person that your close friend has been in love with you for a very long time. Maybe if they had said something earlier, you could been dating or married.

You begin to reminisce about the things you did together while they were in love with you. The hugs, trips, pecks, fooling around and conversations you had. You begin to see the signs clearly now. You remember some details in some of the things they did that actually proved they were in love with you.

Sometimes we do not know when a close friend is in love with us especially if we have been friends for a long time. We think everything they do is out of friendship or philos love. You do not question them when they communicate often, buy you roses or are there for you all the time.

The most painful part is when you remember all those times that they were there while another person you liked maltreated you. All the whining you did about liking another person and asking them to help you win another person’s heart. You realised that all those times, they were in love with you and endured all the pain of seeing you love another person.

We blame ourselves for being so insensitive to read the signs our friends were showing subtly. Sometimes when we analyse our emotions, we realise that we also in love with them or even have some feelings for them too.

You can be in love with someone and not realise it until another person sees the signs and tells you or you might realise it several years later.

It is not easy to tell your friend that have feelings for them but it is better you say it when they are still single and not in love with someone. It might actually work out. If not, you made them aware of your emotions.

Sometimes the friendship will not be the same again when you make your feelings known but it is better than bottling up those emotions and not knowing what could have happened if you had said something.

All the best!